its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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