don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i love accidental penises.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
