i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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