I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
