whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
