I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
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youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
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Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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