areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
