I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
