Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
