im having a threesome with these popsicles
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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