why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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