i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
