he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
