This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
