At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
