how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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