I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
