Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
