i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize