I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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