so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
