im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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