And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
