If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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