Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
