Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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