chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
