Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
