Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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