so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I forgot how hot balto sounded
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
