I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
