Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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