Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
