FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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