My sheets look like a crime scene.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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