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I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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