Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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