Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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