If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
