I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
