I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
