She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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