Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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