My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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