the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
