Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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