so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
