I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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