Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
