whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
