So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
