I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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