Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Fhquall hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(419): View more from Ohio

There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around

Fav 41 1068 3702
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.

Fav 68 4375 1444
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick

(541): View more from Oregon

the rest of him looks just as crooked

Fav 14 905 4334
share tweet
(865): View more from Tennessee

In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.

Fav 10 1050 4541
share tweet
(705): View more from Ontario

just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...

Fav 6 2175 1252
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.

Fav 5 907 1672
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(662): View more from Mississippi

Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.

(662): View more from Mississippi

Challenge accepted. See you in hell.

Fav 28 7697 1376
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.

Fav 3 1367 584
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Who the fuck stole my fridge again

Fav 1 42 38
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT