I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
