okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
