unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
