we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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