I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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