pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
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Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
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I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery