Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...

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(310): I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on... http://tfl.nu/l298

Replies (67) Good night (2254) Bad night (1175)
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(804): View more from Virginia

my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.

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(804): my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go. http://tfl.nu/0t5u

Replies (26) Good night (4670) Bad night (1506)
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(626): View more from California

Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.

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(626): Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is. http://tfl.nu/41jw

Replies (24) Good night (18424) Bad night (1133)
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(818): View more from California

i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...

(805): View more from California

i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"

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(818): i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday... (805): i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it" http://tfl.nu/3fjc

Replies (22) Good night (6851) Bad night (1845)
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(407): View more from Florida

hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate

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(407): hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate http://tfl.nu/k1eh

Replies (3) Good night (2618) Bad night (753)
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(817): View more from Texas

I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.

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(817): I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut. http://tfl.nu/n51l

Replies (14) Good night (2966) Bad night (1270)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.

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(218): just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high. http://tfl.nu/mss3

Replies (23) Good night (2535) Bad night (1186)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills

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(704): I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills http://tfl.nu/vb73

Replies (10) Good night (1999) Bad night (709)
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(315): View more from New York

What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?

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(315): What's a good pandora station to masturbate to? http://tfl.nu/c2un

Replies (8) Good night (679) Bad night (1075)
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(207): View more from Maine

Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

You would never do this sober.

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(207): Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good. (617): You would never do this sober. http://tfl.nu/h01i

Replies (9) Good night (1423) Bad night (595)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.

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(843): He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals. http://tfl.nu/0dw2

Replies (8) Good night (1641) Bad night (883)
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(925): View more from California

michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.

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(925): michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him. http://tfl.nu/5r7o

Replies (2) Good night (1105) Bad night (541)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.

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(610): Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout. http://tfl.nu/wlac

Replies (10) Good night (930) Bad night (530)
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(410): View more from Maryland

It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.

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(410): It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again. http://tfl.nu/2qb3

Replies (4) Good night (373) Bad night (1089)
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(248): View more from Michigan

It's no shave November. This is our time.

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(248): It's no shave November. This is our time. http://tfl.nu/oloo

Replies (1) Good night (382) Bad night (181)

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