ADVERTISEMENT

• (858): View more from California

  I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal

  Fav 8 2310 912

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"

  Fav 7 2409 1108

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (989): View more from Michigan

  i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.

  Fav 35 2088 7461

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.

  Fav 13 4686 1992

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (712): View more from Iowa

  Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.

  Fav 5 1105 3628

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.

  Fav 19 2253 6743

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k

  Fav 10 1871 1276

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE

  Fav 4 1536 611

  share tweet
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.

  Fav 2 1101 541

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy

  Fav 2 1261 608

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.

  Fav 4 887 454

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (914): View more from New York

  Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing

  Fav 1 1487 590

  share tweet
  

• (479): View more from Arkansas

  DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

  Fav 8 554 1458

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.

  Fav 3 644 1044

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (406): View more from Montana

  Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.

  Fav 2 251 147

  share tweet
  

Randomize