Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.

(651): View more from Minnesota

That baby is bound to be under-loved.

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(206): View more from Washington

you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."

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(812): View more from Indiana

How did your new apartment party go last night?

(219): View more from Indiana

I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(641): View more from Iowa

Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?

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(307): View more from Wyoming

there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence

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(562): View more from California

Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.

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(458): View more from Oregon

And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.

(458): View more from Oregon

Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?

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