I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
COCAINE IS GR8