my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
