Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom