definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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