i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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