I showed him my bush... on skype.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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