mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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