Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
